witchybook

more shoulder to the wheel stuff... look at me catching up!

ummm... yea.... so.... this one sucks. i hate asking for help. i totally feel that as a strong independant kick-ass single woman living in the big city i should be able to do everything! perfectly! all the time!!! <--- laugh with me now. (((shhhh it's a secret---but this NEVER happens)))) Um. yes. my crazy let me show it to you.

but i saw this prompt and asked my mom to help me come over and help me get a handle on my dirty apartment. she helped me clean the kitchen as i took out the trash and put away laundry. only two hours later and i was feeling much better. awesome.

And then. My doc got back to me with my allergy test results a couple days ago. Gluten intolerance and possible Celiac disease. plus allergies to corn and mushrooms and also apparently a list so big the doc is just going to send all the paperwork to me instead of listing them in a message. i need to see a nutritionist that my health plan probably won't pay for and i have to go on a crazy elimination diet. THIS IS ALL A GOOD THING. in theory. this is totally what i wanted - a reason for all my crazy inflammation, fatigue, asthma, itchiness, and never being able to breathe through my nose properly. but now, i just feel overwhelmed. and anxious. and like crying. So i'm taking my moment and then i'm going to get over it and ask every single person I can about products and recipes and how to stick to a crazy diet. Once I have the full follow up with the Doc I'll see how expensive the nutritionist is and probably pull from my savings to do that. Maybe hire my mom (who is a crazy good chef) to come over and cook me a whole freezer full of allergy free foods. 

Goodbye beer and sourdough bread. I will miss you so terribly. 

*sheepish grin* *waves*
so ummmm.... i really haven't seen the last few prompts and then today i looked at my feed and there was the last prompt! and then i looked back at the blog and there were some other prompts! eek!!! But the good thing is the universe provides and my life has actually been following right along with the prompts! so the week of this prompt I:

went outlet shopping with mom! bought size 6 (wtf? when am i a size 6? yeeeessss) SIZE 6 PANTS. more than that went home and got rid of the size 8 pants that were toooooo big! (ok.. except for one pair... i still need a safety pair...) but the shoulder to the wheel part was actually getting rid of the too big clothes. and also the old crappy tea kettle that i finally replaced with a new pretty one.

I worked a 22hr. long day.... yea....

And... well... this sounds kinda pathetic... but I went out! multiple times! I went on a really fun double date, which was awesome and I was not awkward at all and a good time was had by all. Then I got all dressed up in my new clothes and went to the commy seed imbolc ritual and then socialized even more with everybody afterwards! and then I had a totally awesome craft day with friends were I totally busted ass and repaired a bracelet, got a dress pinned up so that it's now tunic length and has cute pleats, and got started painting the Morrigan statue for my altar, which I had totally been putting off in fears of my amateur acrylic painting skills ruining it.  (It looks awesome.)  

So there was my awesome weekend. Putting my shoulder to the wheel and actually going out and being social with people.

(I'm skipping a response to Maps. I know. I'll get there. *wanders*)

so excuse the caps but: YES!!!!! ALL OF THESE THINGS!!!!! I'M TOTALLY A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS UNDER THIS 8LB TOOL BELT AND WORK BLACKS!

Ahahaha! so one of my goals was to learn how to do make up, and man have I rocked this one. Shout out to my besty, Rose, who totally ventured into the bizarre and overwhelming Sephora with me, where a wonderfully helpful man put up with our nonsense about wanting a "fresh", "everyday", and "just, you know, clean but pretty, and *hand gestures*". He got me set up with everything i didn't know you needed from primer to mascara and even told me how to use it all! We've also been back for some of their totally awesome make-up classes and are having fun being 'girly' and learning how to put on make-up more than 10 years later then everybody else it seems.
So here's the thing. I totally don't think you need make-up to be pretty. At all. But what's attractive about it to me is how polished you can look. Think raw versus tumbled crystals, both gorgeous in different ways, y/y? It also helps draw another line between at work me vs. day off me. As I work a blue collar, sweaty, dirty, weird ass hours, stressful job, make-up doesn't really work on site. But it's a really fun way to say, I'm not at work, I can be not "one of the guys" right now. 

Point the Second:
-Wardrobe, Weight loss, and Being Healthy in all ways
Mom and I have an outlet shopping trip planned for next week and boy am I excited. I need new work jeans, but also I've been looking at my clothes in a "What Not to Wear" light and have been purging a lot of things, so that means I have space to buy some clothes that fit more with my new "polished" style goals and frankly just some updated work tees. Bonus, I'm hovering in that between a size 8 and a size 6 spot. I'm thinking a pair of size 6 jeans might be a great way to stay motivated. I'm down 16lbs from my starting weight (I do weightwatchers) and the off season is a great time to buckle down and get some serious good eating and working out routines down to help weather opera season.
I've started taking capoeira again which is so much fun, plus a crazy workout, and I've kept up the yoga classes. I'm also going to try to go back to Irish dance classes, once I can get up the nerve to call the school I used to dance for and see when their adult classes are. In terms of eating healthier, I'm working on shopping for a certain recipe at the store so I don't end up buying so much crap or too much food. Plus I'm waiting on allergy test results, that hopefully will show which foods may be causing a bunch of inflammation. (Yea, I'm totally afraid these are going to show a gluten-intolerance. Doc says an estimated 36% of the population has some sensitivity to gluten and the numbers are rising. but, but, my sourdough! *wails*)
And also, I'm trying not to get too pissed off at all the body shaming posts up on Facebook and other like sites. Skinny or Fat, you are a gorgeous woman (or man). Period. The end. I'm also trying not to get too mad with friends who are saying variations of "But you don't need to loose any weight, you look amazing!", on one hand, yes, thank you I do look totally amazing, on the other hand I need to loose weight because I am overweight for my height and not only does my family health history dictate I stay at a lower body weight to help prevent heart, thyroid, and blood sugar problems,but  my orthopedic surgeon  told me that I need to be at my pre-injury weight to help  my post-surgery knee stay fixed. Just because those are my reasons for having a  specific weight goal doesn't mean that anybody else's reasons are invalid or even that being "overweight"* is wrong at all. ARG. ok, rant over, i promise. 

In Conclusion:
I'M A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS! That includes wearing make-up or being filthy from a long day of work, wearing a tool belt or six inch heels, loosing weight and being more physical, getting dress-up for no reason or snuggling in bed reading all day, eating all my vegetables or having a berries and cream for dinner.
YES! THIS! ALL OF THESE THINGS!!!   


*for all values of BMI chart/doctor conventions etc., and a reminder that body fat % and other measurements might be better indicators of a "healthy weight"

Signal Boost because this looks interesting:

Originally posted by changeofthemoon at post

So I don't know if I mentioned what type of pagan I consider myself, so a brief intro: I am totally a kitchen witch in the stone soup meaning of it all. Maybe a Conjurer in the looses meaning. So my spell work is totally pulled together in a mishmash way of traditions, celtic, trad. wicca, hoodoo, southern conjure, feri, candle spells, crystal magic, tarot, meditation, etc. and on wards. So, ummm, just keep that in mind looking at this entry. 

Background:
I did a money jar spell about 3 years ago and it really really worked... like it's been three years and my income has grown to be six times what it was then kind of successful. So, in the face of that wild success, I decided to try and do the same for my love life. Which, yea, I was actually afraid of. Still, kind of am in fact. Because after all the universe gave me what I asked for so well the first time, what the hell would it do with a second chance? It was really easy to gather all the components for the spell because I'm doing it basically the exact same way, just with the appropriate correspondences. In fact, I've had all these components for over a year now. Why the terribly long wait? There's that fear thing again. I've spent the last year doing a ton of cut and clear work, doing a ton of self-love rituals, doing a ton of reflection and asking myself what I really wanted in a partner, and I think I'm finally approaching a point where I can actually make this jar spell a reality.

The Shopping List:
One pink jar candle
Small (pocket rock size) Stones: rose quartz, pink opal, carnelian, red jasper, rhodonite
Two small lodestones that are attracted to each other (plus lodestone food and anointing oil)
Sweet on Me Oil
Everlasting Love Oil 
Pictures of Flowers:  Pink Zinnia, Tulip, Stock, Ivy, Sweet Alyssum, Red Camellia, Ambrosia, Black Byrony, Honeysuckle (bonus if you can figure out what my nosegay says!) 
List of desirable/wanted traits in a partner

The Plan:
Cut the pictures of the flowers out and modpodge them to the outside of the glass jar. put stones and oil into the candle. Put the petition list underneath the candle jar, have the two lodestones be about a foot apart from one another. Anoint the lodestones and give them a bit of food. Light the candle and let it burn all the way down, moving the lodestones closer together every hour or so. Once the candle has burned down, put the lodestones (keeping them together) in the jar. Place jar on altar in love corner of house and feed with fresh flowers, pictures of happy couples, sayings/poetry, and of course lodestone food. All the work is done in circle/sacred space of course.

Missing?
An auspicious time to do this. Maybe next full moon? I will have to actually check with one of my friends who does astrology. I know none of that. And really... I might just ignore it like I did last time. Also I'm going to do one last round of cut and clear followed by self-love before this. 

So, technically I haven't really done the prompt yet, because while all the components are here I haven't actually done the spell. Whoops. Ummm... I'll work on that.. Be back with an update?

This one was hard! I had never realized the pull of all those people making resolutions, but since I'd already been making goals it became really obvious this year. And I admit, it was really easy to get caught up in. Plus, all of the things that first popped into my mind when I read the words "treat yourself" were A) too expensive or B) directly contradictory to my goals in some way. So I thought and thought and looked at all my #want tags in my bookmarks and finally found the perfect indulgence! A year subscription to Yoga Journal! So not only was this something I had put off getting because I didn't really need it even if I wanted it, it also supports my goals! double win!

Get the Itty Bitty Apartment Committy into ship shape
---Clean
---Get rid of things that I no longer use
---Organize so that I'm not buying things that I already own
---Altars
---Decorate

Health/Fitness
---Get to my goal weight
---Keep up yoga/capoiera/dance classes
---Eat out less
---Better teeth brushing habits (flossing i'm looking at you)

Be Awesome
---Learn how to do make-up 
---Go out and try new activities
---Balance work and personal life

Ok. My main problem with lists is that I can always keep adding to them. I always think of just one more thing. Unfortunately this totally goes for resolutions too. So I'm going to stop with these three categories. The mini-goals are the main points within the categories that I want to work on, and thankfully most of them support another. Like cleaning is supported by getting rid of stuff and organizing. Like getting to goal weight is supported by fitness classes and eating out less. 


( The Practical Side )

and

( The Magical Side )

Mmmm... I feel there is much more work do be done in fleshing out the different goals, but at least here are the basic bones of the matter.

In response to: http://dropoutdilettante.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-year-new-you-weekly-writing-prompt.html

*Sigh* Fighting through the cough that will not go away, but I have put this off for long enough. So here's to working though...

Cleaning House
I am totally a FlyBaby. I love the attitude FlyLady has towards getting and keeping your house clean. Favorite inspirational quote: "Your house didn't get messy in a single day, it won't get clean in one." and "You can do anything for 15 minutes!" But yea, the site is weird and it's not really geared for apartment dwellers. I am also inspired to get rid of stuff and organize by http://unclutterer.com/ a great blog and has a fun unitasker wednesday segment that finds hilarious gadgets that only do one thing. Despite all this wonderful inspiration my house still needs major cleaning work. Especially right now with all the crazy holidaze mess left around. Because I moved this year from a one bedroom to a studio apartment the major thing I'm working on is just getting rid of things. It's been a tough thing, to just get things that I'm not using out of the apartment. A slow fight but it's been really rewarding as small changes to small apartment make a big difference.
Other than cleaning up the holidaze mess and continuing with the normal Flight Plan, my next declutter projects are sorting all the herbs and canned goods in the kitchen and do another sweep of donate/trash/keep in my closet, especially focusing on the more formal clothes.
In terms of magically cleaning the apartment I am in absolute love with my Triple Action Cleanse and Protect Spray. It is made with live water and essential oils of camphor, frankincense and sage by the beautiful Susan of Serpents Kiss in Santa Cruz. www.serpents-kiss.com It smells divine and is perfect for 'washing' my front door.

Spending Time Well
oooph... This is a hard one for me. I really do spend too much time online. Ok, ok, I will admit it, i spend too much time reading fanfiction! /shame/ These lyrics describe it the best: "And all I can do is read a book to stay awake, it rips my life away but it's a great escape, escape". Yea. FlyLady has helped a bunch in not only the cleaning aspect but in the spending time well aspect too. When I'm stuck in a rut I'll set my timer for 15 minutes and just do something different. Usually it's a chore but sometimes it will be painting, playing music, or going for a geocaching adventure. When I do manage that perfect balance between taking time for myself to relax(reading) and getting things that I want and need to do done, I feel amazing! I am also amazed at how easy it is to keep that balance when I'm focused on just being awesome. tl;dr---i need to spend more time being awesome.

Big Rocks
blah. I am "lucky" that uncluttering helps get rid of one of my big rocks. I don't have to watch hoarders, just go visit my mom. No cardboard boxes in my house if you please. I'm also working on giving myself permission to not be okay. But riding that line of being ok with not being okay and not wallowing in it. Also self-sabotage. So easy to not work out and to eat crappy food, to not brush my teeth or take my allergy meds, to leave things dirty, to panic at the last minute. Etc.

In Conclusion:
I think I need a chore chart. yea. Like those ones for kids. With stickers.

See this --> http://dropoutdilettante.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-year-new-you-experiment-in-magical.html
to quote:
"So, you're supposed to be, like, magicians, occultists, witches in the woods and the kitchen and on the soccer field, right? Workers of wonder. Dream weavers. People who get shit done. Isn't this the year to make your own luck? You're feeling especially awful with the nights that never end and run over by the holidaze and you can't drink joie forever before needing a meeting. So now's the fucking time. Don't wait until that stupid glitter ball drops and you're already making drunk and/or sentimental mistakes, start now. Start now when it's hardest. Start now when you feel so weighed down with emotions better left to glittery and not so glittery vampires and when you feel like you could sleep forever. Now is the time you need to wake up. Get up, get up! Don't miss this moment. Create magics great and small, mundane and mystical. Find everything you've been looking for, mysteries revealed in every form of divination and song and when you fuck it up, when you are too tired to try, bring each other up from bloodied knees to get back up smiling. You are all made of stars and you have stardust in your veins. Do something about it."

So I love the Drop-out Dilettante. Totally my kind of witchy person. And since I am the number one internet lurker I was really surprised at how much this challenge caught my attention. (ok, not so much, i looove challenges) But the universe seems to be pushing this whole personal growth message so i'm going to roll with it. I don't have a blog, but i think leaving these entries unlocked is a good compromise. Though shiny new blog? Enticing. But I still get the shiny button!



So keep checking the newyearnewyou tag for all this nonsense. The rest of the journal will remain F-locked as usual. Input is and comments are always welcomed.

Leaving you with this wonderful video that fits the theme quite well, me thinks.

How Bad Do You Want It from Greyskale Multimedia LLC on Vimeo.

Welcome to the online version of my book of shadows!

This is a friend's only journal! If you know me in real life and would like to read about daily card draws, ritual round-ups, spellwork, more witchy type stuff and, well, griping, chore lists, and celebrations of my daily life, send me a PM and I'll add you.

love, light, and blessings,
Katie